I totally stole this from a friends page, but it was so funny

Tell me that you haven't done or thought any of these things before...

* More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

* Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

* Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

* There is a great need for sarcasm font.

* Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

* I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

* How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

* I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

* I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

* Was learning cursive really necessary?

* Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

* Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

* While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

* MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

* I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

* Bad decisions make good stories.

* Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

* If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

* "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

* I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

* While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.

* I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

* I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

* I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

* Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

* Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my "butt" everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

* I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

* I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

ok, so how's about a week in review. I was far too tired to make individual posts for each day. So my dad came over Saturday so David and I could have a date night. He got there around 4 or so. We went to PF Changs, which was tasty as always. We sat at the bar and ate. The waiter was great! The people who sat next to us, on both sides were a conversation piece for us. Let's just say that no matter what kind of venue you go to, white trash is everywhere. We had made reservations, as we were driving there. Which was awesome because I told the lady that we were on our way and was wondering what the wait was, since everything else was closed because of New Year's. We scored and she said she would have something. Well when we got there, we were waiting to check in at the desk, and this woman, in her royal blue puffy coat and fake coach purse, elbowed her way up. She said rather loudly that "We (her and her crew) were there FIRST" Ok, number one. people make reservations lady, so even though you were physically inside first, does not mean anything. Second, oh my god, are you really acting like a child? I was so embarased for her. So I was just standing there by the front desk (she didn't mean us) and instead of going AROUND me from behind where NOBODY was standing, she and her buzzer in my face go plowing through between me and the desk. It was weird. We just stood there and stared (mind you this all took place in about 30 seconds). I wasn't about to spend my time out sitting at the next table, 3 inches over, listening to her bitch about that all night, because that is what she would have done. So i looked at David and we went to the bar. It was nice and quiet. We didn't have out chairs slammed in to 53 times, like we usually do there. I hate the way they have so many tables crammed together.

After that, we wanted to digest a little before we went to the gym. David was going to show me how all the machines worked so I don't look like a fool when I am there alone. We went over to Borders to have some coffee. I found a new calender , which was awesome at 50% off. I checked out the new Julie Powell book Cleaving, which I will pick up at Books a Million thanks to my Christmas gift card!
After that we ran to Old Navy so David could get some jeans there. I found a couple of Hello Kitty Tshirts for Soph.
So that was New Years Day
Soph had a great time with grandpa. She usually cries if I leave her. Maybe it is because she is at home. Mom watched her last week for me so I could go to the gym and was fine. hmmm. Ok. So Sunday night sucked. Soph was sick. She slept with me. Her nose was so snotty she couldn't keep her paci in. She kept smacking me in the face to wake me up saying bee bee, bee bee (her pace) and did that every hour or so. She finally went to sleep for a few and woke up miserable. I took her over to the Dr. and they gave her a nebulizer treatment. She seemed slightly better today. (Tuesday) So later today we went to Babies R Us to get her a little potty chair. A couple of my friends and my sister have toddlers Soph's age and they are starting. She also got a couple Elmo DVD's. We ate dinner at Chick Fil A. The eating part went ok, but someone does not like to put their coat on, because that means being strapped down in the car seat. She went into limp noodle mode and melted to the floor. I kept my eyes on the prize and just got it done. We made it to the car, but then she realized that there was the car seat. I am not kidding, she plopped down in the parking lot and laid down and kicked her little legs and SCREAMED like I was abducting her. I had to drop my diaper bag by my car, just to try to pick up her little Jello body. It was unbelievable.Then after forcing her to bend at the waist so she could be strapped in, we were off. We got home and she immediatly wanted to see Itsy Bitsy, which is a song they sing on one of her DVD's She makes her fingers into the little itsy bisty spider fingers. Then off to bed.

I was going to write about the wonderful weekend had, however, due to one person being a stupid ass, I just don't think I will. Thanks for being responsible.

Look at me keeping up with this blog. We messed around at home today. Soph had a little cold. We had some delightful grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch. We made a Target run. Soph needed a newer warmer coat. We found a purple one. The arms are way too long, but maybe it will still fit next year. We came home and put away the groceried and headed back out. It was almost time for Gymboree, but I had to stop and get gas, and Sophie must have her pre-Gyboree McDonalds french fry run.
I got Jonah this little shirt with marshmellows that had little happy faces on them jumping into a cup of hot chocolate, it was pretty cute. We saw them tonight at Gymboree, so I gave it to him there. Little Maren was also there. Looking cute as usual, but especially cute tonight with her pink kitty outfit on. We came home and had a snack and milk for Soph. She helped me unload the dishwasher and start some laundry. We are having a big day tomorrow at the Childrens Museum, They are having countdown to noon, for the kids to celebrate the new year!

Today we mostly hung around the house. Mom and Pap came over to watch Soph while I went to the gym. We were supposed to go out to eat. Not sure what happened there, but I was glad for some alone time. Earlier, we made Cinnamon Strusel. Sophie likes to help me make stuff. I think just so she can lick the spatula. She says monkey now. I a not sure where she picked that up at. She calls her sippie cup a cuppie. That is pretty funny when she says it in her little voice. Mommie cuppie? goes to fridge and points to milk. After my workout, I wanted to go to Dicks to find some Notre Dame shirts, which I did. I like the long sleeve T to work out/lounge in. I found an IU one too. They were super cheap on sale, which is surprising. We stopped by Marsh to grab a couple of things, then came home watched Parks and Recreation. Soph went to bed, I ate a chicken sammie. Tomorrow Amy is coming over so I can go with her to get supplies for her friends baby shower. We are going to attempt to make a diaper cake.

Dear asshole guy at Target,

Just because you say you need to "separate" your 40 item order into 4 orders with 10 items each, does not make it okay for you to be in the 10 items or less line. Your stupid giggle and gee whiz look does not make it okay either. I am pretty sure he got the idea. I am great at under my breath smart ass remarks. Also, I know it is just Target, but make an effort and change out from you p.j's. Moron.

Effervescently,

Eternally impatient